Friday, March 11, 2005

May 11, 1973
In which I am analytical

Friday

Isn't that just like me? I have always wanted to write down my dreams -- but when some one tells me I must -- for a grade -- I draw back and don't want to. why? Why do I do that -- is it because I hate authority? I do it all of the time. Usually when mother asks me to do something. Maybe that is why we don't always get along. {consider it -- but maybe you just need to forget about worrying}

I'll bet everyone in this school thinks I am a sour puss. I haven't really smiled in I don't know how long. I am always in such a rotten mood -- I don't know. {You have a gorgeous smile though -- why not portray it more often?!}

I am so afraid to grow up -- I sort of want to -- to be more free -- but I am frightened. Who will I lean on? What if I run out of money? I have been so financially secure all of my life I don't know if I could live without money anytime in my life.

I am not afraid to die. I am sure I will welcome it as itself -- not so the people I will have to leave.

Why can't life be more simple? I haven't had it bad but bad enough.

Note:
I still have problems with authority. I hate it when I was planning on doing something and someone tells me to do it. My son is just like me.

I have lost potential jobs for lack of a smile. I think I smile a lot more now, but it is a struggle. People always tell me I have a nice smile, but I forget to do it.

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