September 1, 1974 In which I am, again, depressed. Or something.

Almost a month since I last wrote. It's been a long time. School begins in two days. Why am I so depressed? Why? I feel like crying- but not one tear will come. I don't think I feel this way because I miss Jeremy. I do miss him, more than ever, but it's more than missing him I feel. Something else. Not having a job? Could be. My room is clean for once. What else could it be? Could be that Jeremy is dreaming about me or something. Or maybe something terrible has happened to him. God not that, can't be it. Why don't I just cry? Everything would be alright then. Perhaps. I'm empty. I feel like my soul has left my body. I feel like I'm being dragged, or pushed or... I don't know. Forget it.

Note:
I don't remember this at all, but I do remember wanting to cry sometimes - that crying completely cleaned me out. I imagine it was all hormones, but at the time, of course didn't know that.