February 2, 1973In which I think about my mortality and am a prude

Friday,

Lori and I were arguing about whether doctors should tell the patients that they have cancer or not. Lori's grandmother has cancer and the doctor told her. Lori thinks that everyone else should know before that pers her grandma. I think different -- but I really don't know because I haven't been told that I have so long to live and I wouldn't know what I'd do. {It's such a difficult decision to make} I think though that that if I were dying I'd want to know and not have anyone else know. I'd want people to treat me just the same {good pt} and not know that I wasn't going to be around any much longer. Death is something I hate to talk about because it seems so far away into the future -- but it is really sitting next to me I suppose. {you're very observant}

I have made everyone think I am a goody-goody. Because when someone swears I cover my mouth and look innocent. Like in Cerulean when someone swears everyone looks at me and expects to cover my mouth. In geometry yesterday Mr. Klatt was mad and swore at someone. Kim tells told me after class that when he swore he looked at me to see if I was "disappointed" in him because I make such a big deal of not swearing. When someone talks about sex I look innocent and say "I don't know what you are talking about". I have become a stereotype of myself. {no, innocence can be an admirable quality}

Note:
I still think death is far into the future, but it is much closer now than it was when I was 16. Talking about it is not so bad these days though.

Mr. Klatt was an interesting person. He had Mr. Jordan, Cindy's dad, as a teacher so we had a small connection that way. He also was balding and had a handlebar mustache. He looked different from most men of the time. Kind of creepy really.