I need to make some decisions. Very important ones as a matter of fact. See, I've come to the conclusion that I am myself - no one else - and I know what's best for me better than anyone.
| #1 Do I want to go to college? | |
| Pros- Good Pay afterward Become more learned Self-satisfying Better Job | Cons- Costs money Hard work Get up early Exams |
Well, maybe I don't want intensly to go, but I have to - for myself and for my family. No! Leave family out of it. This is my own evaluation.
#2 (the hardest) What about Jeremy?
Do I love him? Yes, but I didn't ever have much experience with other guys to know if this is "love or lust". I do want him physically, but my feeling is deeper than that. His interests, his mind. I love his love for me.
Yeah, it's love.
I suppose I knew that answer but it has bothered me from time to time.#3 What are my feelings towards sex?
Sex. What does that wird signify? My first thought is dirt. Why? That can't be how I was brought up. Does society do it? Make me feel that way I mean?
Then, mingled with that is fear and
What about simple kissing and touching? I am embarrassed about that too. I wish there were nothing to fear of sex. Why do I worry about what others think? I'd like to just go out and let what happens happen. I wish I could be impulsive more often. I think that sex is an impulsive thing. Not a let's do IT a week from Friday at 3:00.
Wow! I guess I have a lot of feelings on that subject. (no pun intended)
I guess I was given an overdose of guilt feelings.
Note:
Ok, not a lot to say on that post. I think I said it all. I am surprised that I questioned going to college though. I thought I wanted to go.
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