March 25, 1975 In which it snows, I get gloomy and consider colleges

Tuesday

12:17 pm

See the date? ^↑ It snowed yesterday - and today it is snowing! SNOWING! And cold. Ma Nature must have something against green this year.

I was sick on Friday - great day to be sick, huh? The day before vacation. Oh well, at least I finished The Hollow Hills. That was a great book.

I also read - in one day mind you- The Last Unicorn. It was a good book too. I think I'll have Jeremy read it - he should enjoy it. It has a sad -sniff- ending but things will work out.

I've lost all of my good pens. That is very upsetting, I must say. I'm listening to my "John Denver's Greatest Hits" album. Leaving on a Jet Plane is playing now. It doesn't make me cry anymore - unless I'm feeling gloomy anyhow. I usually get gloomy after hearing it though. Good God! I was mistaken. It does bring tears to my eyes.

I always thought being in love as different than I know it. I guess I had in mind being with my love - most of the time - not the other way around. And everyone calls me "lucky". Anyone with a love so close doesn't realize how lucky they are. But then - I am lucky - not because I am in love with an English guy - but that the person I love loves me back - and that boy / man is Jeremy R. B.

Today is the anniversary of the downfall of Barad-dûr in S. R. 1419 so says my J. R. R. Tolkien Calendar. I really must finish Return of the King. It isn't doing any good at school - I hardly understand it as it is, and reading on the bus is hopeless.

I just mailed three letters - one to Stephanie, Mr & Mrs B. and one to Beth Navin (from National College). Now I must find Janet's letter, fill out the Basic Opportunity Grant and write to Northeastern. I have to get ready for Grandma - she is having trouble with her operation. I hope she is okay. I think mother is really worried about her - I don't blame her.

Note:
I think I remember this day. I think I even took a photograph of the snow on the roof (then misremembered it as May. I remember reading the three books mentioned in this post.

I don't remember writing to colleges though - I wanted to go to both Northeaster in Boston and the one in Chicago. My father made so little money I could pretty much go anywhere in state (perhaps even out of state) for nothing. Pretty weird - I remember talking to my counselor and he couldn't figure out why my parents insisted on sending me to ECC and Northern when my test scores were decent and I was eligible for financial aid - the kind I didn't have to pay back even.

Things happen for a reason. Had I not gone to ECC I would not have known Debbie. Then perhaps I would not have had anything to talk to Dean about when we first met. Then my children would not be here. Now that's a scary thought.

February 10, 1975 In which I write about a lot of things

Monday

3:18 pm

What a crazy entry ↑. Was I drunk?

I've just woken up. Why do I always fall asleep? I'm not really tired - perhaps Daddy's right - I'm just bored with life. I hope not.

Awful things have been happening. - Corrine (Aunt) sent Jim and Bob to their father - or at least they left and are living with their dad. I hate divorce. When mother told me I began to cry - that's how upset it made me. I wish I could help them - but perhaps they are happier. I'm just afraid that we will J & B as much as we see Julie and Debbie. I wonder how they are getting on. I hope that someday Jim and I can have a real good talk. I vow that when Jeremy and I are married we will visit Jim and Lori (or whomever) and Bob & whomever.

Cinder is blocking my way now - she just sat on the book and her paw is right above my writing. She is really beautiful - is my Cinder. Now she is sniffing me.

I wonder if Jeremy will like Cinder. I hope so. He will probably end up sleeping with her sometimes, Cindy did.

I talked to Sue B. today. I haven't talked to her for a long time - I wish we could be as close as we once were - or were we close? I think not. I think that Sue B. finds it difficult to be close to anyone. That's too bad - she is a lot of fun.

Lori and I skipped Gym today. We were going to walk to Highland to see her mother but since the chill factor was 17º below zero we had second thoughts. Instead we went to McDonald's.

I told Mr. Caldwell that the term "Chuck" is still used in England. Then I ended up telling him that I had a boyfriend there. He wanted to know the facts so I talked to him for a while - he is a really good teacher.

Note:
Don't remember being tired a lot - must have been the teen years.

Jim and Bob - Bob ended up moving in with us, Jim went back to his mom eventually. I rarely saw Jim after I was married. He got married after I did and I think we saw him once then. I wish I'd kept my vow and seen him more often. He died a number of years ago.

Sue B. once confided that she did have trouble being close to people, but she is now happily married with two teen boys. She lives not far from us, but we rarely see her. We need to fix that. I always like being with her and I like her husband.

January 1, 1975 In which I have ink stained fingers and misspell anno domini

10:07 pm

New Year - New section - New me? No, same old ink stained me. How does one hold a fountain pen neatly? My entire hand is splotched with blue/black ink - how grotesque. Oh well, no matter -- I'll be asleep soon and won't be able to see the ink since my eyes will be shut and the light will be off.

Hey man, it's the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and seventy-five addio dominis. Is that right? I know that it isn't after death. Oh well, who cares. No one is going to read this but me - and perhaps Jeremy, until I die so why worry.

I like that guy and awful lot. I think he likes me too. I wish we could be together again. Oh well, when we are married... Married? Am I getting married? Me - the girl who swore to die an old maid - but not a virgin. Bye

Note
Normally I fix spelling mistakes when transcribing this, but the addio dominis was too cute - and if I'd corrected it, it would have lost context in a way.

Funny how I had no idea I'd ever post these words somewhere for the world to see.