Friday, May 16, 2008

Marcy 28, 1976 In which I feel guilty

10:26

I am very guilty of not studying. I don't know what to do.

Shall I run down my day? I'll remember this day for a very long time.

It wasn't the events, but the circumstances and with whom. I was with Woody. I held hands with Woody -- as people in love do. I kept on saying things like I didn't like it, and pulling away, but I was lying because I did like it. It was a pleasant sensation. I felt guilt for having such feelings. I even wanted to kiss him tonight. I would have if he did.

Why have I written that? Jeremy will read this and get angry when we are married -- please don't get angry Jeremy. I love you, but it is hard to be with one of the opposite sex and be free of sexual feelings -- at least with me. I need a man, but I won't, or at least will try not to give into physical feelings.

Note:
Wow.

Ok.

I was nineteen years old for goodness sake. Of course I wanted sex. I was normal.

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