June 26, 1973In which I am almost kissed...but wait....

I was going to write last night -- but I had to study for my American history test. Problems? Yes, I have worries. Can anyone believe it? I was practically kissed last night. I was sure I was going to be - but I chickened out at the last minute. We held hands and walked for a while closer. He told me that I should decide what I wanted, whether or not we should keep seeing each other depends on if I kiss him. What should I do? I asked Kevin (he is the best brother in the world) what to do. He was very understanding but of course he didn't know what I should do. He suggested that kissing, like everything else, was hard the first time probably. What would I do without him?

Bob is very understanding too. He was quite gentle last night and I'm sure he would never force me into doing anything I didn't want to do.

I think I have made up my mind.

What I'm going to do is....

Note:

I must have been taking summer school (lots of people did, to get credits out of the way and to have a chance to graduate early) to have an American history test on June 26^th.

I am quite shocked I asked my brother for advice. Understand that Kevin is nearly 7 years younger than I am. So here was a nearly 17 year old asking a 10 year old about kissing. What's wrong with that picture?

The last phrase in that entry is referring to Larry Woiwode's first novel. His younger sister was the student teacher in my 6th grade class and she invited him to come and tell us about being an author. I have yet to read anything by him, but I have several of his novels.

Same day, noon.

I'm eating lunch now. I just had a thought. Maybe I have imagined Bob. I have not seen him yet today. Of course that is stupid. He is real. I do want to kiss him. He was so intelligent sounding last night. There was once or twice when I felt near to him -- but mostly I felt self-conscious. When he was about to kiss me - or trying to make me want to kiss him, he did something with his shoulder. I had my hand in front of my face but if he had continued sitting there I would have taken my hand down. Instead, he put his arm around me.

Bob just called. He asked me if I had decided, or thought about what he told me to think about. I said I had, but didn't know. Can I help if if I am afraid of my emotions? I am afraid that if I kiss him I will want to go farther -- or something. Oh, help me someone.

Note:

I really don't remember this indecision, but I suspect I was lying to myself about the reason. I think I was just shy and it was easier saying no than saying yes. Had Bob been more aggressive I would have been kissed much sooner -- not that I am advocating that.

Same day - 9:55

I Dona Leigh Patrick have just been KISSED! It was different than I had expected -- sort of squishy. Anyway -- I don't know how to really do it -- But think of it -- Not "Sweet 16 and never been kissed" any longer.

It's all a dream. One thing though -- it didn't excite me half as much as when he rubbed my shoulder yesterday. I wonder why. Oh well, I've been kissed and that's all that matters, isn't it?

(I seem to be getting these symptoms of mono all of a sudden!????!)

Note:

Well finally. I really don't remember the actual kiss. Just that it happened and thinking that it was squishy.

Funny that I spelled my middle name "Leigh" when it is really spelled "Lee". I guess I wanted to be different.