Jeremy has asked me to marry him. He did this afternoon. I said "yes". Why did I say yes? I am quite afraid that he is just a young boy in a fantasy love affair. I do love him. Engagement is a serious thing. I wish I had someone to talk to. Who could I speak with? It just hit me that Jez is only sixteen. When I was sixteen I thought I loved Gary. Remember how I planned on marrying him? Now Jez. Naybe I should let the "passion" die down a bit. I am really scared. I don't want to hurt him. I've hurt too many others. I think I am cursed with this plague that attracts boys until I push them out. God, I can't hurt him. Please, don't let me hurt him.
Note:
Yes, Jeremy asked me to marry him and I said yes. The rest is pure fantasy on my part. How did I actually believe that I was "cursed with this plague that atrracts boys"? That is plain nuts. Maybe I wished that was so. Maybe I was thinking about Bob and Dan. Yeah, probably. Not a curse though.
And I was, what? Seventeen? Not even a year older than Jeremy. I act as if it were decades ago I was sixteen. Gaaaah!
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